A Smiling Idol

An idol said to a missionary, "My friend, why do you seek to bring me into contempt? If it had not been for me, what would you have been? Remember thy creator, that thy days may be long in the land."

"I confess," replied the missionary, fingering a number of ten-cent pieces that a Sunday school in his own country had forwarded to him, "that I am a product of you. However, I protest that you cannot quote Scripture with accuracy and precision. Therefore, I will continue to go up against you with the Sword of the Spirit."

Shortly afterward, the idol's worshippers held a great religious ceremony at the base of his pedestal. As part of the rites, the missionary was roasted whole. When the tongue was removed for the high priest's table, the idol mused to himself, "Ah, that is the Sword of the Spirit—the only sword that is less dangerous when unsheathed."

He smiled so pleasantly at his own wit that the provinces of Ghargaroo, M'gwana, and Scowow were affected by a blight.