His Fly-Speck Majesty

A distinguished advocate of republican institutions was seen wading in the ocean, immersing his shins in the waves.

"Why don't you come out onto dry land?" asked a spectator. "What are you doing in there?"

"Sir," replied the distinguished advocate, "a ship is expected, bearing His Majesty the King of the Fly-Speck Islands, and I wish to be the first to grasp the crowned hand."

"But," said the spectator, "you stated in your famous speech before the Society for the Prevention of the Protrusion of Nail Heads from Plank Sidewalks that kings are blood-smeared oppressors and hell-bound loafers."

"My dear sir," said the distinguished advocate of republican institutions, without removing his gaze from the horizon, "you wander away into the strangest irrelevancies! I spoke of kings in the abstract."