A Call to Quit

Seeing that his audiences were becoming smaller every Sunday, a Minister of the Gospel abruptly broke off in the midst of a sermon. He descended the pulpit stairs and walked on his hands down the central aisle of the church. After completing this unusual feat, he returned to his feet, ascended to the pulpit, and resumed his discourse, making no allusion to the incident.

"Now," he thought to himself as he went home, "I shall have, henceforth, a large attendance and no more snoring." However, on the following Friday, he was visited by the Pillars of the Church. They informed him that, in order to align with the New Theology and take full advantage of modern methods of Gospel interpretation, they had deemed it necessary to make a change.

They had sent a call to Brother Jowjeetum-Fallal, the world-renowned Hindoo Human Pin-Wheel, who was then performing at Hoopitup's circus. They were pleased to announce that the reverend gentleman had been inspired by the Spirit to accept the call. He would be breaking the bread of life for the congregation on the ensuing Sabbath—or, as they humorously noted, he might just break his neck in the attempt.