A Treaty of Peace

Through a series of massacres between their citizens, China and the United States had been plunged into devastating wars four times. In the year 1994, a philosopher in Madagascar proposed a solution to the governments of both distracted countries. He presented the following modus vivendi:

"Massacres are to be sternly forbidden as they have been in the past; however, any citizen or subject of either country who disobeys this injunction is required to detach the scalps of all persons massacred. These scalps must then be deposited with a local officer designated to receive and preserve them, who is sworn to keep and render a true account of the collection.

At the conclusion of each massacre in either country, or as soon thereafter as practicable, or at stated regular intervals as may be provided by treaty, there shall be an exchange of scalps between the two governments, scalp for scalp, without regard to sex or age. The government possessing the greater number of scalps will be taxed on the excess at the rate of $1,000 per scalp, while the other government will be credited with that amount. Additionally, once every decade, there shall be a general settlement in which the balance due will be paid to the creditor nation in Mexican dollars."

The plan was adopted, a necessary treaty was made, and legislation was enacted to carry out its provisions. The Madagascarene philosopher took his seat in the Temple of Immortality, and Peace spread her white wings over the two nations, albeit to the unspeakable defiling of her plumage.